Paths to Follow

       Alright, blogging world, tonight is going to be a little more personal. But I can't seem to shake this thought process, and I am hoping to reach out to other people like me. So here it goes...

        I have wanted to serve a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since I was a little girl. My mother and father's stories of missionary experience gave me a desire to share my testimony and beliefs with others. I even dressed up as a sister missionary one year in high school for Halloween. I have always felt a kinship for sister missionaries, and I am currently writing a biography of the first full-time proselytizing sister missionary for the LDS Church, Inez Knight Allen.

       When I came to BYU, I had no clue that I would lose all of my male friends right after my freshman year. I felt hurt and alone. I longed to serve just like there were, and I found myself angry and upset with those who left just because it was the way to fit in or because of pressure. Didn't they see that a mission was so much more? Why couldn't more people wait and pray until they knew the Lord wanted them to go?

       I was also sick and tired of hearing that women only went because they weren't married or didn't know what to do with their lives. Sisters were just as important as elders. I knew that from my incredible mom. I was determined to serve and prove them wrong.

        Well, the Lord threw some much needed perspective my way over the next few years. I started to realize that I was determined to do the same thing that frustrated me so much: serve to make a point. I realized that true missionary service is more about always being a disciple of Christ rather than wearing a name tag. And most importantly, I realized that I should only serve if I knew that is what the Lord wanted for me. This period of time also helped me realize what I truly believed in, and that my testimony and conversion are a process that I work at everyday.

        Now there has been a recent change in missionary age (Mormon Newsroom Article) , and things seem to be taking a dramatic upswing for sister service. I think that is a beautiful and marvelous change. But... I have also been asked a lot of other questions about my personal life. This seems to be especially true of prospective sister missionaries. They seem to have it all figured out for me. I should try to defer my scholarship. I should just go now, or else I will be married before I can.

         I would like to emphasize something very clearly at this point: everyone makes their own decisions in life. Everyone has their own path to follow. Just as I should not be concerned or frustrated over other people's opinions (which, as demonstrated above, I am still imperfect), other people should not feel the need or desire to tell me when to serve or how to serve. I am going to be a sister missionary now in the best ways that I can, and I will continue to counsel with the Lord as to the decisions I should make for my life. I will follow the path that I feel is best for me. I am happy and excited for the prospects of sister missionary service for all of my friends, but I hope they will be happy and excited for my prospects in life. And that is the musing of a marvelous me.